performed by matchbox twenty
all day staring at the ceiling
making friends with shadows on my wall
all night hearing voices telling me
that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good for something
hold on
feeling like i`m headed for a breakdown
and i don`t know why
but i`m not crazy, i`m just a little unwell
i know right now you can`t tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you`ll see
a different side of me
i`m not crazy, i`m just a little impaired
i know right now you don`t care
but soon enought you`re gonna think of me
and how i used to be
i`m talking to myself in public
dodging glances on the train
and i know, i know they`ve all been talking about me
i can hear them whisper
and it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
out of all the hours thinking
somehow i`ve lost my mind
but i`m not crazy, i`m just a little unwell
i know right now you can`t tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you`ll see
a different side of me
i`m not crazy, i`m just a little impaired
i know right now you don`t care
but soon enough you`re gonna think of me
and how i used to be
i`ve been talking in my sleep
pretty soon they`ll come to get me
yeah, they`re taking me away
but i`m not crazy, i`m just a little unwell
i know right now you can`t tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you`ll see
a different side of me
i`m not crazy, i`m just a little impaired
i know right now you don`t care
but soon enough you`re gonna think of me
and how i used to be
yeah, how i used to be
how i used to be
well, i`m just a little unwell
how i used to be
how i used to be
i`m just a little unwell
today was like any other day. omg. i slacked the whole day away! dammit. only slept at 0400 last night. but i woke up at 1545 today. pretty satisfied about that part. (: that`s the good thing about holidays i must say. more sleep. more slack. less contact with the rest of the friends. and i`m just a little unwell. been spending so much of my days literally staring at the ceilings and letting my mind wild.
oh well. i actually looked through my hand written diary soon after i woke up. whoa. those thoughts came flooding back. it was scary. i could almost totally remember the scene of me writing when i recollect those memories. freaky. but i guess some things are just meant to be secrets. and diaries are the best confidant i must say. there`s no way these secrets will be given away since it`s sealed. unless a family member ever gets to read it. that`ll be trouble. serious trouble. but i guess they might not even know of its existence since i only retrieve it from its hiding place late at night. but who knows? *shrugs
anyway. looking through those entries made me realise how much i repeat mistakes. always telling myself not to do certain things and often, i still do. but i guess such mistakes were committed unconsciously. and everytime after i commit the mistake do i notice the similarities to the past ones. and this time around, i told myself not to repeat mistakes again. and it`s time to leave some things behind and move on. after all. it might just be my one-sided part in that issue. and some answers are never received. i learn.
everytime i stand up, the black outs are back to haunt. it must be the lbp again.
and i received bad news today - a funeral i have to attend to alone.
oh yeah. happy 17th birthday yongthieng! (:
