new year resolutions.
well, it`s been awhile since i`ve updated. nothing much really worthy to talk about. other than school, it`s more school. how sickening can it get. well. i guess i can already feel myself losing concentration and passion(not like there was much in the first place) for school.
as i were speaking about new year`s resolutions today for oral comm, i realised i haven`t made any so i had to fake and make some of them up impromptu. well, i guess i weren`t faking the entire speech but really, i want to try to be more sensitive to others and my family. `cause after all they are the closest kin i have. and seeing the tsunami disaster, it made me feel ashamed of myself. although i must say that my relationship between my family and i have tremendously improved, but i`m sure it can be better. (: and i hope in this coming year, i can learn to understand them, trust them and open up more.
and seriously, i really really want to buck up for this semester `cos i`ve been far too slack. and this sem`s work is without a doubt tougher than the previous modules. and if i were to put in less effort, what kind of results would i receive? i cannot imagine, and it may be easy to speak of putting in extra effort in your work, but never ever managing your time(yang`s speech topic today) the right way, not prioritizing. goodness. if i were to start rumbling about me slacking off, i can just go on. so yeah, you get the idea already. blahx.
just 6 days into the year and i`m feeling like i`m a loser in the area of school work. like what a way to start a new year eh? sigh. it sucks really to feel demoralised. i`m not performing for my work and it can stress me out a lil. okok. i admit. alot. but what`s wrong knowing that i have to do well to please myself? arrrgh. let`s not get started at this again. it`ll keep me busy.
skipped oral comm lecture yesterday `cos i just couldn`t convince myself to wake up for just 1 lecture. i mean what`s the point??? in the first place, it`s oral comm for goodness sake. oral. and skipped micro lecture today `cos it isn`t my fault that she cant freaking finish her schedule since her laptop screwed up during the lecture. like isn`t your(the lecturer`s) responsibility to ensure that your pathetic laptop don`t crash just before your lesson? fool. it`s e-learning. no lecture alright? stick to the rules! ok. i`m mean. can`t help it. it runs in my blood. grrr. i`m feeling irritable right now.
i can`t believe i`ve gotten so serious about my work. i mean, i`ve never felt as strong as this in my entire past 16 years of my life until i came to poly. and often i would wonder if it`s a good or bad change. would you even consider that an improvement? oh my. i`m driving myself nuts ain`t i? stressing myself out for no good reason. crap.
ok. that does it. no more mood to blog anymore. when there`s actually tonnes to write, or rather type out since i`ve been missing for so many days here. but who out there really cares anyway. *shrugs.
