a bitch. that`s what i am.
is it true that we often act on impulse and regret your actions only after it happened?
is it true for everyone? or is it just always happening to me?
i think i acted without thinking, being rash and irrational.
that`s the problem with myself, always thinking that i`m strong-willed and not easily swayed.
but i was hit with such harsh reality that brought me back, bruised and so exhausted.
it`s hard to act like it`s no big deal cos what i did, i knew was wrong.
no matter how hard i try to tell myself it`s over and i only did it out of the fact that i was led to and due to some circumstances but still that doesnt give me any excuse to fall from grace. i try my hardest to move off, to forget what had happen and to return to normal. but everytime you fall, there would be at least a wound to recover from.
it was like something coming over me the night before the last. i don`t know what i was doing and why i did some things and why it ended up that way. but in actual fact, it surely did happen. what i did not consider beforehand was the consequences that i was bound to face after the incident and the what nots. but i just got to be grateful that at the very least and at the most crucial moments, i knew my principles were set straight and i did not betray them.
i don`t care how others may look at me, it doesn`t matter. as long as i`ve got support and understanding from who i deem as the most important, that would be all that i need.
but it`s also through this whole incident that i`ve learnt several new lessons and would not commit the same mistakes. things might not return to how it used to be, that`s for sure. but i`m just hoping for the best alternative outcome, that we both walk out from our shells and start all over again, anew.
as much i`m proud to be a bitch at times, i know this is not the time to boast about it.
