Saturday, June 18, 2005
tuned in;
yay. finally my laptop is back to normal. especially clean and fast. and i love it this way. let`s just hope it stays lydat. but i highly doubt that. based on how i use my laptop all the time. lol.
anyway. it`s been a seriously long time since i`ve blogged in proper. and yeah. i find it very hard to blog about so many things now that i know qutie a fair bit of outsiders do have their means of reading this. and it`s just hard to express it using words.
you don`t miss your water till the well runs dry.
and the emotions run deep. it gets harder each day and it`s very draining on the mind. very.
how do i say? that this sin that i succumb to every single time is too much for myself to handle?
but when you have to face up with the harsh reality, you gets stronger unknowingly.
and the hardest now is to want to let go, but only to know that there was nothing to begin with.
i`m being contradicting to myself all the time. and being indecisive doesn`t exactly help either. i was given a chance but i chose to forgo it, only regretting when it`s all too late. that`s the big fat irony of life and i`ve just got to learn to accept it all the same.
i see us doing the same things, faking that same smile. and i have that temptation to just walk up to you and ask why you are doing those things. and all i want? is that answer, whether it`s going to make me smile or walk away in tears. it doesn`t matter, i just need the answer. it`s that simple.
but everything`s always so easy to speak, but ever so difficult to do.
i just can`t do it. so sue me.
2:12 AM
//ella habla; usted escucha
