Friday, September 02, 2005
tuned in;
we were born to forget.
be it unintentional or on purpose. some things are just bound to be forgotten. give it some time, and it would at the back of your mind, or not gone from it totally.
i`m back to the blogging momentum again. i used to rely so much on putting down my thoughts into some kind of journal, so that i can always look back and reflect. and it works. at least all the lessons learnt are put into somewhere.
at least then it won`t be forgotten. or even if it was, it can be refreshed once again in my memory.
my mind is like totally messed up, driving me up the wall.
even sometimes, i get tired from talking myself out of wasting time and effort in things.
maybe i am really feigning a front, forcing my denfensive mode to emerge out of me.
maybe i do look too strong to crumble, too independent to be weak.
i happen to ask myself...
what actually matters to me?
why is it just so hard to be happy?
even as i know that i`m far from happy, i don`t seem to know what i want. or what i need to do to be slightly happier.
and i realise i ask myself these questions before. and i know i`ll ask them again.
and i`m not going to be sick of this.
the irony of life is life itself. it never fails to drive people in circles, trying to find solutions to problems and answers to questions.
when then would i have all my endless questions answered?
and all my problems solved?
would that make me happy?
to be honest, i actually don`t think so.
that is me. a confused and baffled soul-
2:12 AM
//ella habla; usted escucha
