Saturday, September 02, 2006
tuned in;
i see the luggage half packed in front of me and all of a sudden i don`t believe that i`ll be gone within 2 days for 5 months. it sure feels unreal...
i`m not sure if i made full use of my 1 last week in singapore, but i am sure to have found out many things all over the place. not that they are all good news...so...i`m slightly lost.
i find it hard to understand and tell what i`m feeling because i`ve not felt like this in a long time. and precisely since it`s been a long time i felt that way, the worse part therefore lies in me unable to differentiate between those feelings.
do you even understand what i`m driving at everytime i tell you 'i don`t know' or 'give me some more time to think it over'? i`m just not sane enough or ready now to give you any proper answer. and it`s getting increasingly difficult when i see the hurt in your eyes when i run away time and time again. you tell me you dont need any committment but you`re pushing me into giving you an answer. what`s with the contradiction? i want us to take things slower. i don`t want myself to repeat the same mistake they made.
and then often than not, i ask myself...
haven`t you seen enough examples? didn`t you promised yourself?
i think i had about enough. i want to tell you the truth. i want you to see things the way i do. and i will do it when i don`t have to see the hurt in your eyes. or having to hide my tears in front of you. this is it.
i really want to go to china with a happy heart. i really do.
spare me the complications. thanks.
1:37 AM
//ella habla; usted escucha
